By Juanita Ramsey-Jevne, August 18, 2016, Colorado End of Life Options
Thanks to the Death With Dignity Act passed by Washington State citizens in 2008, my mother-in-law was able to meet her death on her own terms. At age 91, she was diagnosed with metastic cancer with less than six months to live. From the diagnosis to the final moment when she raised her glass in farewell, it was a beautiful death.
Without the Act, it would have been a long, painful ordeal.
I am sharing her story to encourage you to support this initiative. Although I am working to pass it, I won’t be able to cast a vote.
When we retired to Telluride in 2015, my husband and I hoped to live in Colorado full time but I am writing this post from the home we purposely kept in Sequim, Washington. My husband, a Viet Nam vet, has had Agent Orange induced prostate cancer for over 20 years. In May—after he had enjoyed a wonderful winter with over 90 days of skiing— his cancer expanded from a few metastatic spots to now include his ribs, lymphatic system and skin.
Because Colorado had no end-of-life option, the change in his health was our cue to put our condo on the market and move back to Washington. If he reaches a time when nothing else can be done and is in severe pain, we want to be living in a state that gives persons with terminal illness the right to die with dignity. Witnessing his mother Patty’s beautiful death made that choice clear for us.
Patty was a poster elder for aging responsibly. She had voluntarily downsized her living arrangements four times over the past decade. When her driving skills declined, she voluntarily surrendered her license. She ate well, rode her red tricycle for an hour every day and was content with her life. She had no unfinished business left except worrying how she would die. Her greatest fear was that she would get a long illness and end her days in a painful decline.
But when her cancer was discovered we found that she already met all criteria for the Death With Dignity option: she had a terminal illness with less than six months to live; she was of sound mind; she would be able to lift the glass and drink the drug that would end her life. Just a few days after she received the diagnosis Patty made her decision. With the full support of her family, she quite joyfully initiated the two-week waiting period.
When we voted for the initiative back in 2008, none of us could imagine what it would be like to live with such a choice. Now with the countdown begun, we discovered the reality was actually sweet. Knowing there would soon be an end to her ever increasing pain, Patty took medication as needed and spent her days happily saying goodbye to friends and family. There were tears, of course, but mostly there was laughter. Her apartment overflowed with love while she was still strong enough to enjoy and return it.
One by one, the safeguards required by the law were met. The volunteer from Compassion and Choices came to the apartment and took us through the details of the final hours making certain we understood each prescribed, carefully monitored step, noting each point where her decision could be reversed. Patty assured us there would be no turning back. The required second physician came for the private interview with Patty, going through his own checklist to be sure she understood her choice, was of sound mind, and was not being coerced by anyone. She was proud to announce she passed with flying colors.
Together we planned how to fill the 45-minute gap between taking the anti-nausea medicine and the final dose. Poetry, singing and jokes made the cut. Maudlin tears did not. We would celebrate Patty’s life with her still in attendance. Eventually D-Day—as Patty liked to call it—arrived. All went smoothly.
Patty reached for the final glass with a will, welcoming death as she had life: with grace, courage, determination and dignity.
Your vote in support of the Colorado’s End-Of-Life Options Act will make Patty’s choice available for others.